Musings on Motherhood

By Kari Bergmann

Mother’s Day is nearly here! Sadly, it looks as though we’ll be unable to visit those women (mothers and grandmothers) who gave us life and first taught us how to live it. However, despite needing to physically distance ourselves it’s important that we take time to honour these important ladies in our lives. So, after you read this make sure you set a reminder on your phone to call or video chat with the maternal figures in your life, pray for them, and maybe send along a little gift too!

This Mother’s Day is particularly special for me because my husband and I are expecting our first little one in July. Pregnancy certainly has its difficulties, but the pains, fears, and struggles of pregnancy are all overshadowed by the joy and anticipation of being able to meet our little one face to face so soon. At times I’m caught up in the wonder that Christian and I have been so privileged to become co-creators with God. Our love has taken on physical form, this little life inside of me is has an eternal destiny. As Venerable Fulton Sheen once noted, “[l]ove would not be love if it did not escape the limitations of individual existence by perpetuating itself, nor if it did not achieve a kind of immortality in progeny, wherein death is defeated by life.” How amazing that human love can so participate in divine love and bring forth a new person, created in the image of the parents and of God. What an incredible blessing! What an immense responsibility!

Lately I’ve been thinking about my own mum (or mom as we say in Canada), Carol, who lives in Edmonton, Alberta, on the far side of the globe. Going through this pregnancy has helped me appreciate how much she sacrificed to nurture and love me even from the very beginning of my life. This is something profoundly beautiful and mysterious about women, our very bodies (often through much suffering and discomfort) can bring into being and sustain a new human person. During the early years of life, there is a special bond between mother and child. The consistent and affectionate care of the mother helps the child learn about themselves and the world around them, and ultimately it can reveal to a child that their purpose is to love and be loved. Saint Pope John Paul II ends his encyclical Mulieris Dignatatem by explaining that “[t]he moral and spiritual strength of a woman is joined to her awareness that God entrusts the human being to her in a special way” and this is essential to her mission as a woman.

I am very grateful that I grew up with the example of a woman who embraced this mission. Through my mother’s love and affection, I first learned to love and I learned that it was safe to trust and open myself up to others. Certainly, my mother wasn’t perfect but she worked very hard to ensure that my siblings and I felt cherished, wanted, and safe. Most of my early memories are full of joy and warmth. I hope that I can create a similar environment for my own children.

As I’ve grown, I’ve gained a fuller appreciation for how my mother has lived out her vocation of motherhood outside of her role as biological mother to me and my siblings. My mom spent most of my childhood as a stay at home mom but she was deeply involved in the life of our church (my dad was a Lutheran pastor at the time). When my mom wasn’t caring for her children, she spent much of her time caring for the life of our church. I remember her visits to the sick and elderly, her care for the poorest in our community, and her constant support for friends and extended family.

My mom was always willing to help and give her time and efforts for others. She valued and upheld the dignity of those people who needed her help and regularly laid down her life, for them in both small and little ways. Now that my siblings and I have grown my mom still busies herself with caring for others through her pastoral work with couples and families, her care of my aunt and grandma who both need extra help, and her ongoing support for my family. I have met few people so cheerfully selfless or so generous with their time and talents.

Saint John Paul II draws our attention to this universal call to motherhood for women. Motherhood is not simply a calling for those who will become biological mothers but it is a call for all women. This is true for those who have chosen religious life or are single, just as it is for those who have dealt with the suffering of infertility or the loss of a child; motherhood is part of who we are. But how can we embrace this calling, especially for those of us who will not give birth to children? JPII points us toward God’s special entrusting of the person to us and the example of Our Lady.

While not all of us are called to bear fruit through childbirth, we are all called to bear fruit in our lives. Those who do not have children can bear spiritual fruit through their relationship with Christ. This could take the form of service and care “for people, especially the most needy: the sick, the handicapped, the abandoned, orphans, the elderly, children, young people, the imprisoned and, in general, people on the edges of society.” Women have a special ability to nurture and uphold the most vulnerable, to both recognize and attend to the sufferings of others. This spiritual fruit can also take the form of a rich prayer life and relationship with Christ. This spiritual fruit is especially needed in the world today because it points us toward our final end, our heavenly destination of union with the Father.

Mary, who is the model for all Christians, best exemplifies the feminine mission. Her yes to God resulted in the most abundant physical and spiritual fruit in all of humanity. Her virginal-motherhood allowed Christ, who is one in substance with the Father, to become man. “She is that "woman" who is present in the central salvific event which marks the "fullness of time": this event is realized in her and through her.” She fully received God’s gift of being entrusted with the person of Christ and she was completely open to his will and see what fruit it bore! Let us ask Mary to help us understand how to live out our call to motherhood and to humbly submit ourselves to the will of God.

Throughout May, and in particular, on Mother’s Day, I encourage you to pray a rosary at midday as it is Our Lady’s month. In our intentions let us include all of the mothers, both spiritual and biological, in our lives.

Join us live from Holy Family each day at 12 Midday as we pray the Rosary together online at www.youtube.com/MelbournePrays

A Prayer to the Blessed Virgin composed by St John Paul II

You are blessed among all women!Blessed are you who have believed!The Mighty One worked marvels for you!The marvel of your divine motherhood! And in view of it, The marvel of your immaculate conception!The marvel of your “let it be done to me”!You were so continually associated to the whole work of our redemption,associated with the cross of our Savior;your heart was pierced, at the side of his heart. And now, in the glory of your Sonyou unceasingly intercede for us, poor sinners. You watch over the Church whose mother you are. You watch over each of your children. You obtain from God, for us, all these gracessymbolized by the rays of lightcoming from your open hands. If only we dare to ask them from youand come to you with the confidence and simplicity of a child.And so you guide us unceasinglytoward your Son Jesus.