Drawing close to Him

By Vivien Dolar

I don’t know about you, but in the last couple of weeks, it feels like I’m waking up in a movie. I know there are many who might be feeling anxious, afraid, stressed and even a little imprisoned in their homes. The introvert in me was definitely enjoying the time away from people, but as the days go by, the extrovert in me is thirsty for human interaction.

With nothing but COVID-19 on everyone’s lips, there are moments that I forget what season we’re in. This Lent has definitely been an interesting one: the whole world seems to be offering some kind of penance. Whether that’s giving up time with family and friends, less/no income, catching up over a coffee or even just taking public transport — you name it, people are having to sacrifice it. Yet in this stripping back, there is an invitation being offered to us. Even with public worship suspended, there is nothing stopping us from offering God our prayer, fasting and almsgiving in the ordinariness (and maybe mess) of our daily lives and homes. I was able to get to an evening daily mass the night this was announced, but even so, there was this sudden hunger and thirst to receive Him again.

In my prayer the last couple of weeks, the Spirit keeps leading to the story of the Woman at the Well. Like that woman, I come to the well with all of my baggage, doubt, sin, sorrow, fear, pride and stubbornness trying to ease this thirst that ultimately only Jesus can quench. Sometimes we get lost in these things while they trick us into believing that in them is our identity and worth. As I immerse myself in this story, I become this woman at the well and I realise that it is Jesus who speaks first. He sees and acknowledges me; I realise I have a thirst to be seen.

Jesus tells me of the reality of my past, my sin. He knows me; I realise I have a thirst to be known and accepted. Jesus then tells me that in Him is eternal life. He offers relief; I realise that this thirst is for ‘magis’ - something more, greater than what the world can offer. So in the midst of craziness, maybe this is our opportunity to spend more time at the well. To give him permission to show us who we really are; that we are more than our sin; that our deepest thirst is for Him - Love, Goodness, Peace, Beauty and Truth itself. He is the Good Shepherd; maybe we can use this time to get to know His voice. To let Him call us by name; to give Him the time and space to tell us how He is calling each of us personally and uniquely to draw closer to Him.

When Jesus first speaks to the Samaritan woman he says, “Give me a drink.” Despite our thirst for ‘more’, His thirst and desire for us is far greater. Maybe in this time He wants to show us that He is the Way, Truth and Life. Maybe our suffering in this time — be it big or small — is an opportunity to journey through the desert towards Calvary like Jesus did, and to unite it with His suffering on the cross. And while it seems like Easter may not end up feeling like much of a ‘resurrection’ this year, maybe we can cling to the hope and the knowledge that His Passion and love for us has already conquered death.

Maybe He can be the peace and security we can cling to in this chaos and uncertainty. Maybe drawing nearer to Him and knowing our thirst more will keep us coming back to the wellspring of Life.

My sheep hear my voice. I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one will snatch them out of my hand.

— John 10:27-28